The Dirty B Word

The horrid word that proved to be the bane of my existence throughout college: starts with a B, has five letters and one nasty connotation.

On the slim chance that you're thinking of "Binge," congratulations, we are of the same species. Whether it's food, fitness, alcohol, social media, television, shopping... picking my eyebrows until there was just a singular 'brow'...? If it exists, I've binged on it. I'm an extremist, and once I get into something, it's very difficult for me to get out of it. Whether that something is Bikram Yoga, a jar of Speculoos Cookie Butter, or a liter of Sauvignon Blanc...it all ends the same way: in absolute misery.

I have tried to master the art of "moderation" for as long as I remember. When I was two, and my pacifier was my main squeeze, I kept it in my mouth while I ate, slept, and pooped (when the "binky fairy" came to retrieve my best friend, you can imagine the anguish I endured). While I would never advise NOT eating healthy foods and exercising daily, there's something to be said about the importance of breaking the rules every so often.

Jill Coleman, a sixteen year veteran in the health and fitness industry, knows a thing (or twenty) about  overall wellness. Coleman has a B.S. in Exercise Science and an M.S. in Human Nutrition. Since 2010, she has launched her own personal brand at JillFit.com, was a co-founder of Metabolic Effect, Inc., and continues to help fitness professionals build their brands through her online coaching program.

So, yes, this girl's legit.

I came across her blog about a year ago, and it didn't take more than a week for her blog to reign supreme as my internet default page. Coleman, being a former "binger", is on a mission to prove to women that being healthy does not mean abstaining from all things glorious. A blog post that especially hit home for me was 5 Tools to Teach Yourself How to Stop After a Few Bites. Every sentence I read made my heart pitter-patter in self-realization. I felt like the words had been sitting in the back of my mind and I just didn't know how to string them together to form the masterpiece that is this post.

In the post, she discusses the "What the Hell Effect" (couldn't have a more fitting name), which is what happens when you make one teeny tiny slip up and think "What the Hell. I already messed up. Lets just go balls to the wall." This way of thinking is definitely common- and absolutely INSANE. As Jill puts it:

"Making one poor choice and then saying, 'Screw it!' and eating with abandon is like getting a crack in your smartphone screen and then just saying, welp, might as well throw the whole phone on the ground and stomp it."

Why does one small, self-regarded “mess up” take us mentally into the land of no returns? She goes on to explain how it's a control issue, and when we use food, alcohol, or exercise as a control mechanism, anything less than complete perfection makes you feel like a failure. The tool she recommends using is trust: trust that one slice of pizza won't gain you back the freshman fifteen you worked so hard to lose. Trust that missing one Bikram Yoga class will not cause you to become a heifer with the motor skills of a drunk baby. Trust that, whatever the slip-up may be, you can not only handle it, but improve with it.

Jill's health, happiness, and fitness approach from a full-body, whole-health standpoint is what keeps me from replacing her as my default browser with ManRepeller's. If, after reading this short tid-bit, you have found yourself thirsty for a hefty glass of Jill's wisdom, head on over to JillFit and let me know in the comments which of her posts make your heart pitter-patter.

The Big Enchilada of Fitstagram

Four score and a couple weeks ago, I wrote a post about "fitspiration" accounts and whether or not they actually do more mental harm than physical good. I wrote about how, in my personal opinion, these “fitspo” accounts are whatever you make them to be. Like any new concept in today’s modern society, excessive use can be dangerous and lead to destructive behavior, but taking things to the extreme is at the fault of the follower. The purpose of these accounts is not to manipulate their followers’ lives in a negative way, but to promote body positivity and body acceptance in women of all shapes and sizes.

One specific "fitspiration" account that focuses on body positivity and getting stronger (mentally, physically, and emotionally) rather than getting skinnier is the Baroness of Burpees, Kayla Itsines.

Unless you’ve been residing on a remote island without Wi-Fi or you naturally have the metabolism of an eleven year old, chances are you’ve heard of Kayla Itsines. The Australian Personal Trainer ignited a fitness phenomenon, to put it lightly, with her body-positive outlook and fitness and nutrition “Bikini Body Guides.”

With an Instagram following of over 5 million, a handsome boyfriend/business partner, an ADORABLE husky, and abs painted by God himself, it’s safe to say I hate this Aussie (kidding, but MY GOD that little pooch could make Victoria Beckham crack a smile). Not only has she built an entire empire around burpees and squats, but she also created a fitness cult that is now famous in it’s own right. Her beloved devotees refer to themselves as “Kayla’s Army” or “the BBG community,” and some of them have formed social media followings in the millions. This girl’s fans have fans.

Contrary to pessimistic belief, the BBG community does more than just pledge their allegiance to Kayla. They uplift and motivate each other, one squat thrust at a time, and are a source of social support for those involved in the program. Commonly referred to as “BBG Instagram accounts,” Kayla’s followers create their own Instagram accounts where they post about their health and fitness journey with Kayla’s fitness and nutrition guides, using hash-tags and commenting on each other’s posts to keep up with one another’s progress. By making a BBG Instagram, Kayla’s followers are able to connect with other like-minded people with similar goals, such as losing weight or gaining physical and mental strength. For the BBG Instagram community, they gain motivation through progress pictures of other women and through the comments and encouragement that these women share to people they’ve never met in real life. People gravitate toward the positivity and they want to be a part of the community.  From incredible weight loss transformations to women overcoming eating disorders and gaining strength, the motivational spirit of the BBG community is undeniably contagious.

I invite you to go see this pandemonium for yourself. Type in #BBG to Instagram, scroll through some of her clients’ mind-blowing before and after pictures, and let me know how quickly you drop down into mountain climbers.

Wikipedia Plays Zero Games

A few weeks back, I wrote a blog post called Hangover Helpers For When You're "Never Drinking Again" about the Wikipedia page for hangover helpers and how none of my helpers were in attendance. After an especially long, almost never-ending weekend, I found myself back at the Wikipedia site, hoping to come across some new words of wisdom. While there were no new words of wisdom to cure my self-inflicted illness, there was also none of my self-acclaimed hangover remedies! I haven’t checked back to the website since I made my additions, so I’m not exactly sure when they were removed, but they were definitely removed. Every single one of them.

While I’m not ecstatic that somebody thought my ingenious additions were dispensable, I am a little relieved that when Wikipedia pages are altered without professional supervision, action is taken to return the page to it’s normal state. I didn’t feel very comfortable altering the page in the first place, so I can’t say I’m devastated that my alterations are now a thing of the past.

Even though the minions over at Wikipedia don’t approve of my methods, I still think I’m a creative little genius. So if you are in need of assistance this upcoming Taco Tuesday, journey on over to my post about Hangover Helpers. Come Wednesday, you (and your boss) will be happy you did.

Shape: Advisor and Close Confidant

If you’d rather eat a foam roller than go through your usual motions in the gym one more awful time, let me HIIT you with some knowledge. When your body gets used to a specific routine, it becomes more efficient at it. Fortunately, this means you’re getting fit! Unfortunately, this means you stop seeing results. Your muscles aren’t Mark Zuckerberg though, and you can keep them guessing by just tweaking your routine.

Still stuck? I got you. At Shape's Website, you can find an almost infinite amount of workout inspiration. The angels at shape can supply you with bountiful knowledge, from how to use those monstrous ropes you see people angrily slamming on the ground, to the tangled confusion that is TRX, to cable machines, to how to get a workout in when you’re stuck in a 4 by 4 foot box.

You can even specify what you want to make disappear/appear and how much time you have to make it disappear/appear. Whether it’s love handles, jiggly thighs, or the inescapable bra bulge, Shape is here to solve all your issues with your fat tissues. From the Victoria’s Secret Tush Workout to Plank & Plyo moves for washboard abs, I can’t stress enough that there’s literally everything. From two-minute workouts to hour long workouts, if you can’t find what you’re looking for I vow to personally make the video FOR you. If you’re a fitness freak like me and can mindlessly scroll through workout websites until the break of dawn, I suggest you exit this browser and scurry on over to Shape to figure out your *new and improved* workout for manana. Adios Muchachos.

Seven Minutes In Hell

Some days you don’t have time for an hour work out. Some days you don’t have time for a ten-minute work out. If you’re trying to blame your busy schedule on why you can’t get in a sweat tomorrow (rather than you’re undeniable laziness), I suggest you stop reading and come back tomorrow because this video is my secret weapon when I literally don’t have time to brush my teeth.

HIIT (or high intensity interval training) (or some peoples definition of cruel punishment) improves your VO2 max, increases your glucose uptake (that’s a good thing), and boosts anaerobic performance and fat burning. It has even been found to incinerate abdominal fat (the holy grail of trouble spots) more effectively than any other kind of workout. In addition, since HIIT makes you give it all you got, you only have to do it for a short amount of time to reap the benefits. The body registers HIIT as a stressor and raises fat-freeing hormones more so than during steady-state cardio, hence why you burn a MOTHERLOAD of abdominal fat doing HIIT, even if you burn the same amount of calories sticking to one speed (because you’re burning calories long after you’ve stopped giving yourself a near heart aneurism).

This seven-minute workout is seven-minutes in heaven's evil and sweaty step sister, but it gives you the exercise high you usually can only attain after a near-death Bikram experience or a session at Tone House NYC. Again, I’m sorry if these means you have to work out tomorrow, but you’ll be kissing my feet when your baby abs start to show through.

Beyonce in Bowl Form

Possibly the only time I find my creative juices running wild, acai bowls (it's pronounced ah-sai-ee, but if you don't know that by now you need to re-evaluate your cultural participation) are not only fun to create, but they are also delectable, exquisite, indulgent (but not really), refreshing...and somehow healthy as hell. Seriously, these succulent berries are the Beyonce of sustenance: there's absolutely nothing wrong with them. The dark purple magical nuggets that are acai berries are the offspring of acai palm trees, which are mostly grown in Brazil's Amazon rain forest. Just a fun fact.

Anyway, these superfood berries pack a nutritional punch with a wide variety of antioxidants, amino acids, and essential fatty acids. Labeled by the Brazilians (who blessed us with Adriana Lima) as the “Beauty Berry,” acai berries do the body good from the inside out, with health benefits such as increased energy levels, a boosted immune system, improved metabolic function, and better hair and skin.

Like I said, Beyonce.

Along with being a nutritional powerhouse, an acai bowl stimulates not only the body, but the soul. It keeps you full for hours, and, since it feels like an indulgent treat, you won't go reaching for that Snickers when that awful 11:30 pm post-breaky/pre-lunch hunger strikes. Acai bowls look like ice cream, almost taste like ice cream, and are basically what breakfast dreams are made of. Without further ado, here's the only reason I decided to get out of bed this morning:

Ingredients:

• 2 frozen acai smoothie packs
• 1/2 cup spinach
• 1/3 cup non-dairy milk, used: almond milk (more as needed to blend)
• 1/4 cup coconut milk (or substitute with more almond milk)
• 1 large frozen banana
• 1/4 cup frozen or fresh blueberries
• toppings:1/2 cup berries, 1/2 a banana, 1/4 cup granola, 1/4 cup coconut shreds, 1/8 cup goji berries, 1 Tablespoon chia seeds, a sprinkle of cacao nibs, and another lil sprinkle of bee pollen

Directions: put everything (except the toppings) in a blender and blend until you see a water-fall like effect going on at the top of the mixture (you'll understand when you see it). Pour into an instagram-worthy bowl or mason jar and go nuts with the toppings. Figuratively and literally (almonds, cashews, pistachios, pecans, macadamia nuts, fresh fruit, chia seeds, flax seeds, coconut, almond butter, peanut better, goji berries, mulberries... I'm exhausted you get it). Last but not least, savor every. single. bite. Because like a celestial Beyonce song, it's over before you know it.

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! (water)

Nowadays, I feel like any problem I confront somebody about:

-Why could I go for a fifth slice after I annihilated the first four?

-Why does my skin look like it has dandruff if I moisturized this morning?

-Why do I feel like I got hit by a bus after that bottle of wine last night?

Their response is "You're probably not drinking enough water." With all the contradictory "one hundred percent facts" out there, it's hard to know how much water is "enough" (whatever that even means). After some research, the conclusive evidence I found is that there is not ONE amount of water that everybody should drink every single day, for the simple reason that every single person is a unique individual whose life requirements vary. Lebron James should not be drinking the same amount of water everyday as Kylie Jenner.

Contrary to popular belief, the conventional "8 glasses of water each day" advice is not, well, advisable. A person's hydration requirements are dynamic and unique. They're influenced by age, weight, height, and they even differ for the person by day, depending on how active that person is (or isn't) and how much sleep they get (or don't). No matter the individual, however, staying on top of your hydration should be at the forefront of your to-do list.

So why, do you ask, am I babbling on about something so mundane as water?

1. Studies have shown that even mild dehydration can negatively impact your physical and mental performance. Impacts were evident in endurance, recovery time, motivation, mood, attention, memory, energy levels and even immune system function.

2. Beauty sleep isn't the only option. Your skin contains approximately 30% water and the middle layer acts like a sponge, so optimizing your hydration helps keep it plump, elastic and resilient. Bonus: drinking water also helps with oral hygiene and can keep bad breath at bay.

3.Word on the street is dehydration is the new smoking. Recent studies have shown that dehydration could affect vascular function in a way that is “similar to smoking a cigarette.”

If you are of the rare and mutant species that doesn't like the taste of water, let me throw you a nonsensical bone here:

Infuse your water with fresh fruit, like kiwi and blueberries

Infuse your water with fresh herbs, like lavender, basil, mint, and thyme

Infuse your water with vegetables, like cucumbers

Drink water with squeezed lemon or lime

Drink coffee and tea without their nasty counterparts (i.e. cream, honey, sugar)

Drink carbonated water

Whatever you do, just drink until you pass the pee test: You're in the clear when it's clear.

Disclosure: I don't know the daily fitness regime of Miss Jenner, but I'm just guessing it's not up to par with Mr. James'.